A Typical Story



		A Typical Story Why my father's grave is still sacred after 32 years What the headstones row means to one grieving daughter Pictured left, Doris Hurst by her parents’ grave
Photo © 1998 Staffordshire Sentinel Newspapers Ltd

Doris Hurst has visited her father’s grave every fortnight for the last 32 years. The routine is always the same. She polishes the stone, removes the old flowers and puts fresh blooms in a vase.

When Doris’ mother died in 1983, she was buried in the same plot. Since then she has continued to carry out the ritual for both of them. Like anyone else who has suffered a bereavement, Doris has the memories and the photographs, but while she is there, in the peace and quiet of the cemetery grounds, surrounded by the graves and the flowers, she feels close to the ones she has lost. The visits have become part of her life.

She has been going to the grave since she was 26. She is now 58. One February morning, two days after her mother’s birthday, Doris went to the cemetery as usual. She took along her mother’s favourite flowers, cleaned and polished the headstone and tidied the area around the graves. Everything was in order. It was the last time Doris was to feel at peace in Newcastle Cemetery. The next time she visited a few days later, she was met with what she describes as a scene of devastation.

The stone, and dozens of others, had been toppled. Newcastle Borough Council had declared them unsafe and had laid them flat on the ground. Doris, a hairdresser from Wolstanton, said: ‘‘When I saw my dad’s headstone lying there, I was totally shocked. The loss I felt was like going through the death of my parents all over again. There were just rows and rows of headstones toppled. ‘‘I was trembling. I felt as if my legs would give way. I was totally devastated.’’

Doris was so moved by what she had seen, she did something she had never done before; she joined a campaign to get the stones reinstated. Doris is a quietly spoken, articulate woman. When she says she is ‘‘not somebody looking for a cause to fight’’ you know it is the truth. ‘‘I have visited that cemetery ever since my father died in 1966. ‘‘It is my father’s last resting place, so it is very important to us. It is a very, very sacred spot.’’ Doris also has two brothers buried in the cemetery. Fortunately their headstones have remained untouched. ‘‘When I go there I feel as if I’m visiting my parents and my brothers, who my sister and myself love dearly. ‘‘It is a very, very important and private thing. I visit the cemetery on their birthdays, Easter and at other special times. ‘‘You go into the shops and see Mother’s Day cards and birthday cards, but you can’t buy those for the people you have lost, so you visit the cemetery instead. ‘‘It is not morbid or depressing. You come away feeling lifted that you have been able to go and share some time with them.’’

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